I only have a picture now,

A frozen piece of time,

To remind me of how it was,

When you were here, and mine.

I was happy. I had Ryan and Dave, a nice life. Then I got pregnant, excitement, hope, love. I kept imagining the little life inside me and dared to have no fear this time!

The time has come, 38 minutes past Eleven,

You now have a Son, an Angel in heaven.

Big blue eyes and those lips deep red,

It’s better to let it go on its own, they say; for you, for your body

There’s pills for that, the old ones say

The second day it comes, nature’s cruellest trick

Unborn wonder, sweetest child,

Longed-for baby, pure and mild.

A promise of peace for an imperfect world

You’re a banner of goodness ready to unfurl.

I am supporting Sands 'Star on our tree' campaign because this is my first Christmas as a bereaved mummy since losing my beautiful sleeping angel, Adora Elsie Klann, at 38 weeks on 11th September 2015.

05.01.15: The day I got those two lines on a pregnancy test was the day I knew my life was going to change so much.

I wish God didn't take you away.

​I wish I could've made you stay.

To hold you forever in my arms.

To protect you so you would come to no harm.

We were supposed to protect you, and make things just right,

But you were so tiny,

Too tiny to fight.

Your tiny fingers, your tiny toes,

We are told from a young age “big boys don’t cry” and “men are strong”,

Well guess what folks those words are bloody wrong

It must be very difficult to stand up to the test

and field the calls and visitors so she can get some rest.

I don’t want to live the 25th July 2015 ever again.

To Our Dear Beautiful Baby Ruby,

Rosie is mine and my husband’s second daughter, born on September 16th at 11.21am via section, weighing 4lb 10oz. Her story is not a simple one and our pregnancy wasn’t easy.