Surrounded by love in a meadow of green,

Our baby is with us, though no longer seen.

You'll never face turmoil; you'll never face strife

All I ever wanted

Was to hold you in my arms,

To kiss you and to cuddle you

And keep you safe from harm.

But you'd gone before I had the chance

Ben, you filled our hearts with joy,

If you would have lived, you would have been Daddy's little boy.

Mummy loves you lots, Daddy does too.

I never thought that I'd be here today, 

I never thought that things could go this way, 

This simply wasn't part of all I'd planned, 

It's been 4 years since my perception of just what a mother's love meant changed for ever, May 13th 2002, late on a Monday afternoon. A date forever etched in my brain, the day when my pregnancy naiveté dissolved in a puddle of bloody amniotic fluid as my waters broke at just over 18 ½ weeks gestation.

I had a normal pregnancy and suffered from all the normal sickness backache etc.

I sit here on a Saturday night wondering 'Why am I not a Mummy'.

The teardrops still fall, our hearts remain sad.

Thinking of Kieryn, our wonderful lad.

A beautiful child, so perfect and new,

We found out we were pregnant in December 2005, we weren't trying for a baby, so it was a shock. My GP confirmed my pregnancy and was elated, as he has been my G.P since I was young.

To Max

If only you could have opened your tiny eyes,

If only we hadn't had to say our Goodbyes,

If only you were with us, here, now,

If only, if only. We miss you, how.

Little star shining bright

up among the moon so

bright

there you will stay so high

and so bright shining

down your wondrous 

light. 

Tonight I saw an angel

The tiniest angel of all

My baby angel is peaceful

He doesn’t want to cry

His heart is beating slowly

Translucent skin and eyes

My girls were born three months early due to twin to twin transfusion syndrome and were both taken within a month, here is their story: 

The circle closes - at last