My hand lies protectively across my extended abdomen. It has naturally rested there for the last 7.5 months, but now that position is redundant since we found out our baby girl's heart stopped. It felt as if our world also stopped turning.

My sobs and cries of 'no, please God no' broke through the icy silence of the scanning room as I was told our baby's heart beat had stopped. Poor Martin found out at work as I blurted it over the phone in a voice I did not recognise. Only hours earlier he had left a happy scene of a pregnant wife and a lovely son. Disbelief consumed us both as we tried and failed to absorb the information. This could not happen again, we had already lost another baby girl four hours after birth, the twin sister of our son Oliver. I wanted to scream, to tell everyone that it could not happen, to beg for someone to say 'sorry we got it wrong, she is absolutely fine'.

The hours, days, weeks and months are a blur of shock, of disbelief, of anger, of devastation. Within 24 hours of the news Jemma had died, we were sitting in front of an anaesthetist and surgeon about to deliver our baby girl who was not going to cry, she was not going to grow, develop and live life.  A dead baby is something no one should see. The images of both our girls will stay with me forever. I wanted to whisper to her 'please breathe, please,' but of course these whispers were useless.

The devastation, disbelief, anger and sadness which sank deep in to every cell in my body lasted for months. Some days, even nearly a year later I feel the same, but somehow we have to see some light back in life. Our son Oliver, Martin, friends, family and good things in life give me strength. We will have no more children. Our journey before Oliver and Jessica was a long and painful IVF journey, and after losing Jemma I have no strength to try again. We are approaching the anniversary of our daughter's death on the 16th April, and I feel a kaleidoscope of feelings, but I am trying to hang on to the good things in life and inch forward minute by minute, day by day.

I want to give each and every one of you who has experienced this loss my deepest condolences and a huge hug.

This is for Jemma Smith 16/04/15 who we will love forever.