We had been trying for a long time to get pregnant, we had undergone tests and even got as far as being put on the IVF waiting list when I fell pregnant with Joshua, he was due on 20th November 2006 and was born 5 days early on the 15th. 

I had a perfect pregnancy no problems of any kind and everything was fine. I started getting contractions on the 14th November and at about 5pm on 15th November the midwives decided to break my waters as the foetal heart monitor was showing Joshua's heart rate was dipping. After about 30mins the midwives called in the doctor to help with the delivery. The doctor decided to do a forceps delivery, as the birth wasn't progressing, even with the forceps Joshua wasn't coming out. After 3 attempts pulling with the forceps Joshua was born, he had his cord around his neck 6 times but he seemed ok, he was a bit pale and slightly floppy with some bruising from the forceps but he was a healthy 8lbs 10oz big baby and everyone seemed to think he was going to be fine. 

He was taken to SCBU just to keep an eye on him after his traumatic birth but he never came back.

While in the unit his blood pressure kept dropping but the doctors didn't know why, he was getting weaker and weaker and eventually my husband and me were told there was nothing they could do and Joshua was dying. His grandparents were called and he was taken off the monitors and we took him into a family room so he could spend his remaining time with people who loved him, Joshua died in my arms 17 hours after he was born into them. After he died me and my husband bathed and dressed him and spent a long time just being with him.

We were asked about a post mortem and we agreed because no one knew why Joshua had died and we felt like we owed it to him to try to find out, even though it was the hardest decisions we have ever had to make. The post mortem was carried out on 20th November 2006 five days after he was born; it only took 1 day to discover why my baby had died. Joshua had a massive internal bleed most likely caused by the traumatic delivery, he also had very high acidity in his blood which could have been caused by the cord around his neck and that stopped all his major organs working as they should. 

Joshua was a big healthy baby with a mass of dark hair, chubby cheeks and creamy soft skin, it’s only 2 weeks and 1 day since Joshua died and three days since his funeral but it still feels as raw as it did the day it happened. 

Kirsty